Dawn's Cake Is A Lie
by AnimeDutchess
Summary: Oneshot, Strong Palletshipping hints, but that's not the focus here. Randomly obtaining cake is always good...until you find out that the cake is a lie.


_**Dawn's Cake Is A Lie**_

By AnimeDutchess

A/N: Okay! I went to my college's orientation on Wensday - had a smashing time, by the way; i'm part of a group of seventeen friends - and one kid in our group had a shirt on that said "The Cake Is A Lie", which is from this game...

See, in the game, at the end of each level, you're promised cake at the end of the game, but at the last level, there's a sign with a picture of a cake saying the phrase above about the cake being a lie.

So anyway! Me and our group's leader, the awesome gal who brought us all together, actually got to know him through the shirt, and throughout the orientation, the three of us kept referencing it. And my thoughts were wandering once again...and they came up with this! Enjoy, dudes!

...

Disclaimer: Me no own teh Pokemans. Oh well.

...

She didn't know why, and she didn't know how, and she had no idea where (because she'd been travelling in the woods, like always), but Dawn was happy that, on the porcelain plate in her hands, a big slice of cake sat, the frosting a pristine white (And apparently, buttercream. The homemade, real deal.) with a cute pink rosebud, the actual cake a chocolate flavor with cannolli cream on the inside. And everyone knew that cannolli cream was the king of creams.

So basically, she'd gotten hold of a piece of the world's best cake. Normally, a person would take such a treasure and hide away, consuming it with a gallon of ice cold milk to wash it all down. But Dawn wasn't like other people. Since it was such a huge piece of cake, she was going to share it with her friends! She wouldn't be able to eat the entire thing, anyway.

But...where _were_ her friends? Ash had left a little while ago, saying something about stalking Gary, and Brock probably sauntered off to go pee in the woods or something. Dawn sighed sadly, looking down at her beautiful cake. It wouldn't hurt to have some now, would it...?

She promptly sat down on a conviently placed rock and pulled out her special camping fork, her eyes shiny and her mouth watering.

"I-ta-da-ki-maaasu!" She sang, slowly bringing her fork towards the godly confection...

And jumped slightly when the bushes next to her rustled loudly, Gary Oak tumbling out of the greenery with leaves in his hair. Dawn squeaked in surprise, but the older boy didn't seem to notice.

"Dammit..." He grumbled, picking himself up and rubbing his head, leaves fluttering to the ground. "Stupid crazed fangirls and their attempts at rape..." His one-woman audiance formed a deep blush.

"G-G-Gary?" She squeaked. Said boy froze at the sound of her voice.

"Who's the-" His green eyes landed on the startled Dawn, and his body relaxed. "Oh, thank Arceus it's only you." He took a few steps towards her. "I thought you were one of those buckets of estrogen..." Dawn raised an eyebrow.

"Are fangirls really trying to rape you?"

"Yeah...I really have no idea why." His eyes finally noticed the piece of logic-defying cake on the plate Dawn was holding. "...Um..."

"...What?" Dawn followed his gaze to her treat. "Oh, yeah! I dunno how I got this, but doesn't it look good? You can have some, if you want, 'cause there's no way I could eat this whole...why are you shaking your head?"

Gary was indeed shaking his head, and simply said, "You can't eat that."

Even though he probably didn't mean it in a mean way, Gary had just said the 3rd worst phrase that can be said to a girl. Dawn glared at him with an insane intensity.

"Why the hell not?" She asked, her tone angry as she started to rant. "I can eat whatever the hell I want, I'm not fat! Are you calling me fat? FUCK you!!" Gary's eyes grew wide, and he took a step back in fear of his life.

"Whoa, whoa! I didn't mean it like that!" He held his arms out in front of him, in case Dawn tried to rush him. "It's just..."

"Just _what_?"

"Just..." He gulped. "The cake...the cake is a lie."

Time seemed to stop.

"...Huh?" Dawn's rage was swapped with confusion. "The cake is...a lie?" She looked down at said cake. "But...but it's right here! I can see it, feel its weight, smell it..." She looked up at the auburn-haired boy defiantly. "The cake is most certainly NOT a lie!" Gary just smirked at her.

"Oh, I assure you, it most certainly IS. It's not real." Apparently, he was feeling a bit safer, for he lowered his hands and came over to Dawn, standing next to her. "You don't even remember how you got it...and where the hell do you get cake like _that_...in the middle of a _forest_?" Dawn was pouting as he spoke, looking at her wonderful cake. How could such a beautiful thing be a lie?

"...Whatever! It's definitely not a lie!" She exclaimed. "And I'll prove it by eating it!" Once again, her fork slowly inched towards it, the prongs ready to penetrate the icing covering the cakey goodness...

...When a blur flew out of the forest and tackled Gary. Dawn squeaked again in surprise, noticing that it was Ash who had glomped her companion.

"Hah! Can't hide from me, Ga-ryyyy..." The raven-haired boy said in a playful tone. Gary rolled his eyes, grinning.

"No, I can't...but we have an audiance, Ashy." Ash blinked, and then looked around, noticing his blue-haired friend.

"Wagh!" He immediately lept off the other boy. "This isn't what it looks like! I...I was just..." Dawn just smirked at him.

"Riiiight, whatever you say Ash...just remember to invite me to the wedding." She snickered when Ash blushed.

"Shut up, it's not...hey, is that cake?" His copper eyes lit up, and in an instant, he was by Dawn's side. "You're sharing." It was a statement, not a question.

"Of course!" Dawn smiled up at him, and presented the plate to him. Before Gary could protest...

"Wait!" Ash took a step back. "Dawn, I can't." She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why not?"

"...The cake is a lie. I can't eat it, and neither can you."

Dawn just stared at him blankly.

"Exactly!" Gary was now by Ash's side. "I told her that, too, but she doesn't believe me."

"Really?" Ash made a funny face. "But...but if you really look at it, you can tell it's a lie."

"I know!"

"Argh!" The boys turned their attention to their female friend, who was gnashing her teeth in frustration. "I don't care what either of you say! The cake is so totally NOT a lie and I shall prove it RIGHT NOW!" The tips of her fork raced towards her cake...

And phased right through it, the fork hitting the plate with a dull _clink_.

Dawn blinked. "He?"

"See?" Gary crossed his arms. "Toldja." Ash nodded.

"It's just a hologram. Or maybe our imaginations? Either way..."

"The cake...really is a lie..." Dawn threw her fork and the plate at the ground, the latter shattering into smallish pieces. "NOOOOOOO!!"

...

"NOOOOOO!!" Dawn shot up in her sleeping bag, panting heavily. After a moment, she sighed, her head clearing.

"What a weird dream..." She murmured, running a hand through her tosouled hair. "That's it, no more birthday cake right before bed..."

...

A/N: XDDDD That was so messed up. I originally wanted to put Brock in at the end, but I'm really tired right now, and my head's killing me...

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the randomness! Oh, and I graduated high school last Tuesday! WHOO!! Ja Ne! - AnimeDutchess


End file.
